Sunday, February 20, 2005

We Are Socially Awkward or the Worst Ward Party EVER

Todd and I are not the most graceful people socially. We are shy, and so sometimes we fall short in the social pleasantries: saying hello to people we know, making an effort to meet people we don’t know, helping other people feel comfortable by talking to them, making chit chat…

We know this about ourselves, so we make an effort to BE social; we go out of our way to make this weakness a strength.

But here’s why we didn’t last 10 minutes at the church party/dinner:

1. When we got there, the tables were either completely full or completely empty. We sat by ourselves. We watched as others came in, looked for a table, looked at us, and then looked for another table.

2. When Bro M came into the room, slowly pushing a cart of food, he looked right at me, and I smiled and was about to say “Hi!” when he quick as a flash averted his eyes and his smile and looked at nothing and pushed the cart on by. I then felt stupid saying “hi” and didn’t say anything. (Why do I have to be so shy?)

3. As we got up to leave, we noticed that the service project (assembling book bags of school supplies for Tsunami victims) was finished and the only note books left on the table were the ones we brought; the ones with the cool holographic covers. Everyone else’s notebooks had been plain. Ours were different and therefore shunned. If I were a Tsunami victim and 10 years old, I TOTALLY would have wanted a cool purple covered notebook with holographic concentric circles…Tsunami victims need a bit of glamour, too! They lost EVERYTHING! Including things they might have owned that were sparkly!

4. As we were sneaking out, Sis J stopped me and asked me if I were sneaking out. I said yes, and before I could provide a valid explanation (it was our anniversary), she said, “I know you, but you probably don’t even know my name.” Just the thing to say to a shy person. But before I could ask her what her name was…

5. Sis S walked up looking frazzled (as usual) and went into a monologue about her car problems, which then turned into a diatribe on the fact that “there were SO many Mexicans at AutoZone today.” I was FLABBERGASTED…the only thing I could offer was, “Well, it IS Saturday…” and then…

6. Sis J said, “I know…I was at Macy’s today and they were having a sale on milk so you KNOW the whole place was just packed with them, and they were just jabbering away…blah...blah…blah…I always wonder what they are saying about me….”

7. And Sis S added, “I know! Once I was at Wal-Mart and a group of them was following me around going blah blah blah blah…and finally I turned around and said ‘WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?’ I mean, you have to catch me in a mood, but I was just in no mood for it!”

I was pretty dumbfounded. I kept looking at Todd and he kept looking at me, and these two ladies just kept going. I felt like I was under a spell that kept me standing there until I could ask Sis J her name.

8. But to be polite, although I had never spoken to Sis S, I did know her name so I felt compelled to say so. But in doing so I TOTALLY mispronounced it. She actually got annoyed both visibly and audibly. She explained it this way, “Although I had English teachers all my life tell me that my parents misspelled my name the way it is pronounced, do people really think my parents would be SO DUMB as to mane me ******?” I don’t know, I thought, you have some pretty dumb attitudes toward Mexicans, the possibilities are endless…

So we left it on that awkward note. I just know that I will be called to the activities committee sometime to pay penance for all the ward parties I’ve skipped out on…But this one was justifiable, wasn’t it? Please validate me….

6 comments:

Kacy said...

Oh dear.

Anonymous said...

Good gracious! It is so terribly SAD, SAD, SAD that so many people in your ward don't realize how fun and funny you guys are! If I had walked into the cultural hall and seen you there I would have not walked, but RUN to sit with you, for fear someone else would beat me to the table. There is no excuse for the way you were treated. They'll understand what they are missing eventually. Until then, be strong. I admire you for even giving it a shot on you anniversary. (Happy Be-lated Anniversary!!! I remember it like it was yesterday...)

The sparkly notebook thing is the kicker! (Never underestimate the power of homogeny on any given day in Provo.) Any person in the world (devastated by tsunamis or not) would prefer a sparkly notebook over a plain one...I hope you took them home and that you send me one for my birthday.

Damn gringos!

-Suzie Petunia

Anonymous said...

Bless its little haaawrt!

-mo

Yolanda said...

I SO VALIDATE YOU! Next time...whatever the ward function may be...just KNOW that you and Todd have a standing date with us (that can be our mutual excuse!). I try not to go to ward functions, (there are so many reasons why) and now I can justify and add to the list "too many racists."

Sarah Marinara said...

Like our dear Suzie I would have RUN to sit by you guys! Sheesh! What kinda losers are in your ward? And also, being of Mexican decent... I'd like to come to your next ward function and have a kind work or two with those sweet sisters about EVERYONE being children of God, white brown or otherwise... and WHO DOESN'T WANT CHEAPER MILK? For the love!

Amy Lynn said...

Good grief. I don't go to ward functions because I always come home with a MAJOR headache...and I don't get headaches! Plus I usually spend the whole time getting Matthew out of the toliet in a bathroom, Jake out of the drinking fountain in the hall, and I'm sure Hannah will come up with some new adventure in her own due time.

Be strong!