Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Job Resume (just in case you’re hiring…)

I have been fascinated by what you can learn (or imagine) about people by knowing their job history. So I will join the likes of Kacy & Kaycee , and share my vast experience of menial labor…

1985-1993 Babysitting…I HATED it generally. We always lived next door to the NICEST people who salivated to see a family of 5 girls move next door. I babysat for family and neighbors (from before I was really competent) through high school.

1991 Nanny— Summer Job -- I was a nanny for an awesome family in Natick, Massachusetts. They were Jewish (ALL the Jewish families had nannies, it was cultural…it wasn’t a rich thing or a “both-parents-work-thing”). Luckily, I didn’t sleep over. But the kids were adorable and easy to play with. All I had to do was watch Superman in the morning, make lunch, and draw Superman in the afternoon. I even got a week at Cape Cod in a beach house. Swimming all day, restaurants at night… I was SUPER lucky. Amy Lynn needs to blog about the family SHE nannied for that summer…

1992-1993 Office Assistant – Medfield, Massachusetts -- My first real job was found in the newspaper, and was for a couple who had started an energy efficient lighting company out of their basement. They were hippies and the lady didn’t shave either her arm pits or her legs. But they were nice, and I learned some mad office skillz.

1993 Sales Associate: Intimate Apparel – Natick, Massachusetts – I was a certified bra fitter (I even wore a tape measure around my neck) and I know more about foundation garments than I ever thought possible. I can spot your bra size at 15 paces, and I can make an educated recommendation. I really liked this job. LONG hours, but fun customers… I saw more breasts that summer than I care to count (I stopped at 13…Simpson’s reference)… Some people are just exhibitionists!

1994 Lifeguard – Houston, TX – I “tried out” for this job after 30 days of mono. I was super weak and almost drown during the “auditions”. (Life guarding is a much sought after, cushy summer job in Houston…) I was assigned to a pool in a brand new neighborhood. I doubt there were 20 houses yet. And since most houses in Texas HAVE pools, not many people came to my pool. All I had to do was sit there and get wicked tan. And if no one was there, I could get off my stand and read, or work out… I think I read like 25 books in a 3 ½ month period…books like “Roots” for crying out loud…

1995 – Dance Instructor – Rexburg, Idaho – My ballet teacher had a baby during the semester, so she paid me the ULTIMATE compliment by having me teach her classes in town. She taught at Rick’s College but she taught 5-14 year olds in a studio “down town.” It was child’s play…literally…not exactly serious dancing.

1995 – Private Cook – The Roney Family – Provo, Utah – This was a cushy job. My roommate was the nanny for the president of NuSkin. The mom had 6 kids under 12 and hated cooking. She was a very good, attentive mom, she just had a lot of kids (hence the nanny) and hated cooking (hence the cook). Since I briefly studied culinary arts at Rick’s, I got the job. My “audition” meal was prefaced with the statement that they had fired two cooks already…I passed, phew! They have an AMAZING house with an AMAZING kitchen. So fun…so easy… She said I could come back and work for them after my mission, but I chickened out.

1995 & 1997 -- Server – La Dolce Vita – I really liked this job and had it before and after my mission. I loved the family, and I loved the food. My best friend at this job was a little Bolivian woman who had lived in France for 18 years. She had managed to pick up flawless French, but had a HUGE problem mastering English. Between her bad English and my bad French, we struck up quite a friendship. I miss Rosie…she moved to NYC.

1997-2000 – Cook/Server – Brick Oven Pizza & La Dolce Vita– Provo, Utah – I don’t know what possessed me to apply to be a cook at the Brick Oven, but I got the job and worked in the kitchen for over a year and a half…it might have been longer. I moved over to serving because I was also in school full time and I was tired of smelling like cheese.

1999-2003 -- Del Sol – Retail Design & Merchandising – As I was finishing school, I got the opportunity to do some designing for a start up retail company based in Utah. They market strictly to the tourist industry, hence the reason there are not stores in Utah. But I designed or assisted on stores in places like Grand Cayman, the Bahamas, Hawaii, Alaska, Cape Cod, Cozumel, Acapulco, etc. I loved this job, but after almost 5 years (and a lot of being away from home), I announced my retirement and looked for something new and local.

2003 – 2004 – LoveSac – Retail Design Manager – This was supposed to be the perfect solution. A local company with NO CLUE what they were doing. They thought I was some big shot designer (boy I had them fooled) and hired me without knowing exactly what I would ask them to do (start spending money on store design). They are a company with no plan, and I gave them a plan, and they took me to China (SO fun…). But once they got the plan, they didn’t want to pay my salary anymore (a lot of people there work for free basically and are expected to do so out of loyalty) so I got let go. I wouldn’t work for free….selfish me.

2004 – 2005 – Woman of Leisure/Retail Consultant – So I was thrown into my life of leisure… I am REALLY enjoying it. I thought I would be CRAZY without gainful employment, but I have managed to stay quite busy. I am a retail consultant for Del Sol, and when they get swamped, I take on a store or two for them which means I get a few weeks of stress and then a trip somewhere nice, and then it’s over.

My working days are not over. I am still figuring out how to rule the world in a safe, non-dictatorial, high-style sort of way…and to get paid lots of money for it…

4 comments:

mo said...

I had forgotten that you have done so many different things! You are such a well rounded person...and, no, that was not a comment on your body type. They are all such useful skills, too. Fitting bras, cooking, decorating, childcare, you name it and you have done it. You should be voted Woman of the Year!!!

fattooth said...

I find it hard to believe that you were sick of smelling like cheese.

Marcy Dibbleblotts said...

I am jealous of ALL your past jobs. You are way cooler than I am.

Christian F said...

The Roney's taught my Sunday School class when I was twelve or so and before NuSkin hit the big time.

Don't give up on the Woman of Leisure bit too soon.