Thursday, February 17, 2005

NOT My Finest Hour

Have already a MAJOR complex about my dirty house. I am a very distracted housekeeper. I am the typical right-brainer who gets distracted by the small details and overlooks the bigger, messier picture. For example, I will spend hours re-organizing my pantry labeling all the shelves and making all the can labels face the same direction, but not do the dishes for a week.

I also have dogs; inside dogs. They do not help my house stay clean. And they don’t lift a finger to help out come to think of it.

The other day, I interrupted the dogs regular schedule of going outside THEN eating and let them eat first, which caused the 13 year old dog to eat and then promptly poop on the floor (my back was turned for like TWO seconds...). Luckily, we purchased a steam cleaner the day after we purchased the dog, so I took all the necessary precautions and thoroughly cleaned it all up and disinfected said soiled area.

Later that day, I was still in my PJ’s because it was Saturday and I had slept in til 10am. So when a friend knocked on the door, I was a little embarrassed by my disheveled state. I had been reading and responding to blogs all morning, of course.

I invited my friend in and we chatted for a bit and then I ran up stairs to fetch something for her to take with her. When I came back down, she was on the bottom step of my stairs looking at the photos on my wall with apparent interest, but the first words out of her mouth were hurried and awkward and had nothing to do with the pictures she was just looking at.

So we wrapped things up and said good-bye and I turned to go back upstairs when I stopped dead in my tracks. There on my stairs, directly at eye level, was a slightly dried and linty piece of dog poop.

My friend had undoubtedly seen the “object” on my stairs and had gone in for a closer look because “it couldn’t be poop.” Oh, yes, it can… Obviously the dog had not been finished as she waddled down the stairs to go outside and had just finished there. I had practically caught my friend in the act of investigation, and she had smoothly pulled off an “I’m just looking at photos” pretense…

I am still mortified. I can’t imagine what she thinks. Luckily, she’s not the type to gossip (I hope) or else I will never be able to show my face at book club again.

7 comments:

Kacy said...

Don't be such a prude. What's the big deal? Who hasn't had feces of one kind or another on their stairs?

Suzie Petunia said...

Poop schmoop.

Christian F said...

I'm sure she wouldn't say a thing. She is very discrete.

mo said...

Since the reason that you have TWO dogs is that you took one of mine--the poopy 13 year old--I would never be critical of your homemaking skills. Did I tell you about the poop skid marks I recently found on my stairs from one the grandkids scooting down with a messy diaper? Kacy is right, who hasn't had it on their stairs? The only difference is that I got to make the pooper's father clean it up!

JP said...

Children-I mean DOGS and their poop...

Both equally annoying and potentially mortifying.

Thank heavens you didn't step in it on the way upstairs. THESE are the things that I think of. That would be much more embarassing, I think.

Amy Lynn said...

I'm laughing so hard...still laughing...still laughing...OK, I think I'm OK. Nope, still laughing...

Anonymous said...

yeah, it ain't nothin' man. Don't you remember back in the day when you'd be over at our pad and J would come out of the bathroom and be all like, "hey carrie, what's this in my hand?" and he would have a big pile of fresh poo. Or on sunday afternoon you'd make us a nice poo pie. Yeah, those were the days. Everything is scatalogical when it all comes down to it.

Dirty Bill