I've had enough. I cannot stand Fiona's barking. We've been through two bark collars already and it's time for number three. I realize that she can't help it. She LOVES the sound of her own glorious bark. The more ferocious the better. She bristles, she tears down the stairs (messing up the rug at the bottom of the stairs everytime) and jumps up on the window to make a visual and to make sure the person at the door KNOWS that SHE knows that you're invading HER territory. Stupid dog. It's MY terrritory, and I'm not barking! Cesar the dog whisperer himself couldn't break this tragic display of ferocity.
So I went to PetsMart and looked for bark collars. While standing at the locked electronic training display, I noticed a little girl holding a little Betta fish in a cup. I immediately noticed how quiet her new pet was. I got the new shock collar and walked right over to the fish displays and wieghed my options. I found a cute purple tank with purple rocks and a little green suction-cup plant (all in one package for $8.99!) and chose a red fish so he would stand out against all that purple. My new fish's name is Solomon, because he is "...arrayed like Solomon in all his glory...". And he's quiet. Fiona might be quiet if I put her under water, but I wouldn't bet on it without the bark collar.