Although this story doesn’t belong to me…I will write it since no one else has…
The other night, Todd and I sat around Kacy and Christian’s kitchen counter, as we often do. We live just around the block, you see. When their kids go to bed, they give us the signal (one ring) and we join them at our usual spot.
Occasionally, we watch a movie or something, but mostly, we just sit and talk. Often, our getting together involves some sort of treat or goody. The other night, it involved New York Creams and cold pork ribs.
Imagine if you will, four adults, a few gallons of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, malted milk, club soda, and pork ribs… It was decadence. It was over the top, heavenly, indulgent eating at 11:00pm at night. You know you have hit a certain level of friendship when there is no embarrassment at how many ribs you can down (for the second time that day) or by the chocolate to ice cream ratio in your shake.
Christian and Kacy are a dream come true…there is no judgment, and always good leftovers.
But, as young children are wont to do…their kids’ heads appeared over the banister…lured by the melodies on iTunes, the peals of party-like laughter, and the unmistakable scent of ice cream. Yes…if you are a child…you can detect the aroma of frozen confections…you lose this ability at puberty…
Now a disclaimer: Kacy and Christian are really good parents. For reals…they do stuff together…quality stuff…they have good techniques…etc. But what comes next is not so much a comment on their parenting, but an epiphany on why we remember what we do from childhood.
So the kids came down on the pretense that they were “hungry.” Oh, foolish children…we know your bellies are not empty… And they enter the kitchen to find grown-ups making shakes and eating ribs. But as everyone knows, shakes and ribs, while fine between the hours of 12pm and 8pm, turn into child-poison soon after 8:15pm. Their only option, the only SAFE option, was to be offered a glass of milk and a roll.
Their first-born son’s eyes were large as he eyed the ice cream and the chocolate while his drink was poured, and in the meekest voice Charles Dickens could have imagined, he asked, pointing to a spill of cream and chocolate, “Can I lick that off the counter?” To which the magnanimous answer was, “Of course, you may…” How could such delights NOT be shared, poison or no poison? And then he was whisked off to bed…
To be sure, their son will not remember all the vacations…all the father/son camp outs, he will sit in his therapist’s dimly lit office and say, “…they had ribs…they had ice cream…and they gave me a roll…THEY GAVE ME A ROLL! And made me lick the counter…”
You know, we do the best we can. Some injustices cannot be avoided. Childhood is not fair. You have to put in your time…pay your dues…puberty sucks…and then college is a disappointment. But then, you get to be an adult…you arrive at the point when you can do whatever you want… We were just giving that kid something to look forward to…something to aspire to. Because if nothing else, being able to eat ribs and ice cream at 11pm at night is really something to live for.
21 comments:
I rejoice in seeing a new post...and then... I laugh and laugh! You never disappoint me, dear sister. Thank you, thank you.
Oh, how jealous I am of a friendship that can be summoned with a secret ring of the telephone! It's like playing with tin cans and string for telephones, but better...mostly because ribs and shakes await you on the other end.
This reminded me of our dinner tonight with the kids. They chose milk and water for their beverage (for that was all that was offered) and then had to suffer through watching me pour a tall, iced down glass of diet Coke (with lime) with 3 thin slices of limes floating amid the ice. Oh, the torture! They looked at it longingly and begged, and my reply was "Sometimes when you're an adult you get special treats." I'm so glad I'm an adult! (sort of)
And here is a link I thought you would like... I sent it to Kacy, too. It matches your air freshener in your car.
http://www.mcphee.com/bigindex/current/11476.html
How in the world could you have extra ribs? I mean honestly. It's like saying we had extra bacon. Has that ever happened? Ok maybe extra Chinese BBQ ribs if they have a rainbow film on them, but actual ribs like they have on the Food Network every other show? I find that hard to believe.
That is a good point, Zook. I've never heard of extra bacon and only Adam had a rib to spare. But sometimes we hoard our ribs for later eating.
Please excuse that lame old-person "Adam" joke, but, as I tell my kids, grown-ups work hard all day taking care of kids so at night [and on blogs] they are entitled to some fun.
What Carrie didn't tell you--because it is even worse than the rest--is that when Maggie came down she begged to lick the counter as Sam had.
Are you people all crazy? Is this really what you think adulthood is supposed to be? You got that right! I had lime-flavored Doritos and a slice of watermelon for lunch today. It's like the Godiva chocolates we always have around at Christmastime, they are pure sensual delight to an adult but I am 100% certain they would poison a child under 16.
Oh Mo, You are taking a bite straight out of a block of cheese right now, aren't you. Admit it, you glutton!
There were extra ribs because I bbq'd three racks of ribs and two whole birds. Plus potato salad, iva beans, and pasta salad from Carrie.
I know it's rude to talk about how good your own cooking is, but those ribs were not left over because they were rainbow filmed chinese ribs. No way.
Suzie, if we rang your phone once would you and zookeenee come? It's a long drive, but we've got ribs and chocolate shakes waiting.
Kacy, how did you know? The Doritos and watermelon were just the appetizer. Suddenly I'm craving ribs....
You have all made me very hungry. Adults are only different because they wipe the counter with their finger first and then put it in their mouth. This blog made me laugh really hard--I truly do love being an adult. Little do children know that when they go to bed, we really DO watch movies, eat ice cream and sometimes make out.
I feel like I'm missing out here. I don't have friends really...and I don't cook anything that would make anyone jealous to hear about later. Come to think of it, I'm still the kid that comes lurking around Mo and Papa's house, trying to smell if there is indeed real ice cream in their freezer and the sugar free stuff is just a decoy.
Well you all should come to our house on the 23rd. Let's say around 5pm. I'm cooking a whole pig again and if you aren't offended by that then you are welcome to come. Just bring your favorite salad or drinks or dessert or whatever.
If Abby weren't having a baby any second now I would be there with a salad in hand and bib around my neck! What I would really like to experience is the "Lord of the Flies" aspect of the whole event! Where does one buy a whole pig, anyway?
Yummy!
I love friends like that. I love experiences like that.
My husband has a sign above the desk in his office that says "Unfortunatly our family is not a democracy"
And he adheres to that. It has been an interesting topic with our children as they have become teens.
Thanks for the funny post!
Seriously laughing out loud at this. This is an examplet of why kid must want to grow up so fast: So they can eat ice cream and ribs at 11 at night!
I can almost hear one of my children asking to lick the counter someday. Oh the funny...
Can we come too? If we hear one ring on our phone, you better believe we'll be haulin' Dodge mini-van butt down I-15...but just how far do those baby monitors work?? Oh, and I'm with Mo...seriously, where do you buy a whole pig for roasting?
i knew i had truly become an adult when i found an unopened box of godiva chocolates last year while at home and joking when i asked if i could have it she flippantly said, sure, its probably old anyway. abby, still living in utah at the time called 5min later and asked what i was doing. my response "not working, sitting in mo and dad's house watching a movie on their big tv late in the afternoon eating an entire box of godiva's... why? what are you doing?"
Spencer, you forgot the part where you decided to take one bite out of every single one--just because you could.
Ain't that the truth!! But why oh why do I still lick the counter?
Oscarson!!
I found your blog via my friend Christopher Clark. I have been reading it for a few weeks and I finally read the archives. I have been impressed by your wit, your humor and your genuine talent at assessing situations and making them interesting (I have never seen so much humor in Activity Days OR Ducks).
It finally dawned on me that I KNOW YOU!! I am sorry to do this on the comment part, but there was no e mail listed for you. We lived in the same house in Scotland as missionaries (in Renfrew). As cheesy as this sounds, the time I spent in Scotland was the brightest spot of my mission. I was a missionary w/ the deaf program. My spirit was defeated and I was on my way home. I lived w/ you and that other sister who had a leg brace!! By the way, yours is the only name I remember from that mission.
I don't expect you to remember me at all, but I wanted you to know that I am very grateful that were there to be a happy memory for me during that really difficult time! I have learned so many new things about you and I have seen many of the same traits and qualities that I saw in you at the time (you had amazing fashion sense, great hair --it was always a different length or color, witty and very, very kind). I would NEVER had pegged you for shy. You seemed so confident.
Anyway--thanks for the many laughs I have gotten from your blog and I will continue to read it. Good Luck!
Rebecca Bingham
(you knew me as Sister Kinsel-BSL Programme Missionary)
If I had a nickel. . .
there's nothing like the look on our kids' faces when they sneak down to find me and Topher eating a big bowl of ice cream and popcorn--it's that special mixture of shock/jealousy/horror that indeed their suspicions have been confirmed: they go to bed and we have all the fun, sucking it out of the air so they can't have any. I am sooooo in the mood for ribs and chocolate shakes now, thanks a lot.
I can confirm that Rebecca's mission was extra special.
I hate to respond to questions on someone else's blog but oh well. To those of you who want to know where to buy a whole pig for roasting: It's much easier than it sounds. All of the real butchers in town have connections (not the supermarket butchers). Some of them need 10 days notice, but the butcher I use generally has a 130lb pig available.
OK Christian,130 pounds huh, now I understand why you drive a truck! Sorry Ceeb for using your blog as a forum for butchering info.
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