Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Reluctant TV Maven

When I fantasize about the questions I will someday be asked by Vogue journalists, I always rehearse my answers so that they will sound a) intelligent and witty and b) spontaneous and off the cuff.

If I were to be asked today by Hamish Bowels or Plum Sykes about what hot new shows I am watching this summer…here would be my answers…get your TiVo remotes poised and ready…

1. The Cut : While Tommy Hilfiger is somewhat of an enigma (he looks gay and designs as good as gay…yet he is most definitely not…), I am gaining more and more respect for him not only as a clothing designer (have you SEEN the new “H” line?...holy hot…Palm Beach here I come!...when I’m 45…), but as a rather decent person. Oh the show…? It’s about various designers and non-designers who are competing for a spot in his company. Why he is even bothering with non-designers is beyond me…but I am loving this show! Not every task is that great, nor is the show that slick…but it does have a sort of “je ne sais quois”…that satisfies the impeccably-opinionated designer in me…

2. Stella: Holy CRAP this is the funniest show around. While I laugh self-consciously at the crass but helplessly funny “Chappelle Show”, Stella is comedic art. Stella consists of Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and David Swain, three ever-suited “men of leisure” who fall haplessly into hilarious and improbable situations (read: no plot of which to speak). They have amazing A(minus) list cameos, who patiently participate in skits that are scout jamboree worthy. Get your season pass NOW. Don’t let this become another “Arrested Development” story!

3. What Not to Wear: a TLC standard. People of the world…if you need help…and I know you do…for heaven’s sake…watch this show! While I do not pretend to have Stacy and Clinton’s clothing savvy, I’m sure that if we were to meet (as we have in my dreams) that we would become the bosom-est of friends (how would they not appreciate my opinion?). While the show is terribly formulaic, through the wonders of TiVo, I can take in a week-end’s worth in one lunch. I would do ANYTHING to get on the show and have $5000 and Stacy and Clinton at my fashion disposal…but alas…you have to dress REALLY bad to get on…and I REFUSE to wear pants that are too short with huge white tennis shoes!

And there you have it. I am not a TV advocate. I am a “TV Art Enthusiast”…a patroness, so to speak. Seriously…I wouldn’t ask you to watch crap.

14 comments:

Sarah Marinara said...

I have seriously been wanting to watch "Stella" simply for the Michael Ian Black factor... but alas... I AM NEVER HOME and because my hubby-to-be has strong TV feelings... there shall be no TiVo here. With any luck they'll release it on DVD. Sigh...

Suzie Petunia said...

I haven't found anything to satisfy my tv-watching-needs this summer. As soon as summer began it was like a black hole swallowed all good programming on my television. And you KNOW how I like my tv time. Good thing I was introduced to Battlestar Gallactica! (Seriously good SciFi, even if you're not that "into" SciFi!)

And as for this:
"I REFUSE to wear pants that are too short with huge white tennis shoes!"

Were you referring to me in fifth grade?? *sniff ... sniff*

Lisa M. said...

I am in very big trouble, as I have not even *Heard* of those shows.

*sigh* Maybe I need to STOP blogging for a minute and turn on the tube?

*Laughing* Hummmm... I do watch "Primetime in the Daytime on TNT!" Old re runs of ER, Judging Amy, Law and Order and NYPD Blue.

OH I am SO lame!

mo said...

Have I had time to watch TV this summer? I'm not even sure where my remote is right now. Is my TV even still in the cabinet? Giant sigh....

Carrie Ann said...

In defense of the TiVo (Sarah Marinara..you may want to discuss this with Dustin...)

TiVo SAVES time and brain cells. It allows to watch the worthwhile stuff (and there IS worthwhile stuff) with out arrangin your schedule around your TV. AND...I don't know the last time I saw a commercial. I cna watch a 30 min show in 10-20. How is that not a time saver? I now watch my shows when I am ironing or eating lunch, and there is a show or two I save for me and Todd...

Behold, World! TiVo is not for the TV watcher! It is for the non-TV watcher! Thank you TiVo gods!

Carrie Ann said...

Seriously, I probably watch 2 hours of TV a WEEK! Before TiVo it was more...

brittany said...

so give me the run down on tivo--do you spend a bunch of cash each month?? cause it (tivo,that is) sounds like a good idea to me...

Amy Lynn said...

I truly feel so ignorant. I'm with Lisa...I don't even know what you are talking about. If it isn't on PBS kids, I'm lost. Chris and I are DESPERATELY waiting for the new AMAZING RACE season.

christopher clark said...

Carrie Ann. I'm on board with your Tivo shout-out. I don't waste any time watching TV anymore. And no damn commercials.

But do you not have BBC America? Trinny and Susanna, the original What Not To Wear hosts, are about a million times better that that crone and the gay guy. That's what I think. But what do I know about fashion? I wear a baseball hat every day.

lisa v. clark said...

I LOVE "STELLA"! You are the only person I've met who has even heard of it. . . It's the only show in a long time that has actually made me laugh out loud.

I was actually day-dreaming yesterday about how I would love to be handed over a big wad of cash to buy cool clothes with Stacy and Clinton. . . but I'm not willing to wear what it takes to get on the show.

Just add my name to the list of Tivo (in our case, DVR) testimonials. People of the world, it will change your life: pausing live tv? instant replay of what you didn't catch? no commercials? There's something for everyone--I don't believe anyone who says they don't watch tv--and I mean that in the same way I don't believe in unicorns.

Svenska & Sheaux said...

the only show i ever remember i WANT to watch is the daily show. there are others i like and i enjoy but on a daily basis never think to go sit in front of the TV. for this reason the TiVo is very much apreciated when i visit your home. still though, i have to admit that i too hadnt heard of those shows.

lisa v. clark said...

A little bit of trivia: My brother told me that there's been an x-rated version of "Stella" on the internet for a while that has a cult following. . . as he put it, they had more artistic freedom, and they took it.

AzĂșcar said...

Hi, Bek sent me over. I think it's curious that I'm watching What Not To Wear while reading your post! How surreal. I walk around in life isolating people who I think need to be on the show. I know I'm going to nominate someone, I just haven't decided who will get that honor yet.
I must second Chris on the BBC version. Trinny and Susanna totally feel up their victims. It's awesome.

I also love Stella. It's ridiculous and stupid, and I love it.

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