I fancy myself an expert. On what?...you might ask. Oh pretty much anything and everything. Some people would say I am opinionated. But I really don’t try and push my opinions…ahem…my expert opinions on others; I am really a live and let live kinda gal.
But recently, emboldened by my regular watching of “What Not to Wear” (American version), I feel the need to tell it like it is…to strangers…
I often pass by a complex of doctor and dentist’s offices. This week, a clean cut looking man in a button up shirt and slacks (not jeans) was picketing the offices along the main road with a sign that said: “American Dental is untrustworthy.”
This impressed me for several reasons: A) the man was well dressed and seemingly poised unlike the union stand-ins that picket malls and other such large jobs where it’s easy to get screwed by contractors etc B) the use of the word “untrustworthy” was more insightful, carried more depth and resonance than, say, “sucks” or “cheated me”…
But then the very next day, I saw the same man and the same sign, but this time he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, unbuttoned, bare chest showing, and shorts with flip flops. His credibility went out the window. I SERIOUSLY contemplated pulling up to the curb and saying something like: “Just so you know, yesterday, when you were dressed nicely, I actually cared about your cause; was curious about it…but today, you look like just the kind of jerk who would picket a dentist’s office instead of handling the matter in a different way…say like a letter from a lawyer…”
But as the light changed, I chickened out. Besides, it was Friday, and who knows…maybe there is some unspoken dictate that says that picketers can dress down on the weekends, too.
Other moments where I just wanted to walk up and begin with:
1. “Just so you know… that kind of attitude will get you no where.”
2. “Just so you know…a shampoo, a set of dentures, a couple of highlights, and not having your crack show would do you wonders!”
3. “Just so you know…screaming your kids in public is seriously frowned upon.”
4. “Just so you know… it’s 2005, not 1985.”
5. “ Just so you know…showing skin between your shirt and pants is SO passé! Don’t you ever read a magazine?”
6. “Just so you know… I’m totally going to blog about this.”