I had a day. It started early, too early. As I was getting in the shower to get ready for a doctor's appointment I happened to weigh myself and I have gained 7 lbs in the last 2 weeks since my last appointment. I tried not to freak out in the shower, but I did a little bit, in my head.
Todd is out of town.
I spent all day trying to write a paper for my class. The whole pregnancy brain condition is very real for me. I have trouble formulating thoughts beyond the B+ range. This causes me MUCH frustration and consternation and often embarrassment, especially when I am trying to teach an important principle at school and cannot remember words, or when I lose student assignments, or forget to send them the assignment due tomorrow. It's been a whole semester of that.
After class tonight, I talked to my professor and while I don't think he could tell, I teared up a bit because I've gotten a B+ on both of my papers and also my mid-term. I am smarter than a B+ in this class.
I wore stupid shoes to campus so I had to take them off to walk back to my car.
I fell off the last stair while on campus and sprained my ankle pretty good. I sat there for awhile trying to assess the situation and then some really friendly students came by and I was just sitting there and they asked if they could help me up and I was about to say "no, I'm okay" when I realized that:
1. I wasn't okay
2. I was already crying
3. I am 7 1/2 months pregnant and I COULDN'T get up on my own even if I wanted to
It was awkward.
I cried all the way back to my car while limping like an idiot. I sat in the car and cried uncontrollably. I couldn't call Todd or a sister or show up at my brother's because I was crying so hard. I was crying because I am pregnant and sometimes it just doesn't take much. I texted Todd instead and he called and listened to my cry for awhile, then he talked about other things until I calmed down enough to drive home.
I got home and got in the bath to relax and was forced to confront the "body"... and the face. I have a very puffy pregnant face. My nose is huge and gorilla-like and my mouth is big, and not in a very voluptuous way. I know this is temporary.
I felt better. I finished my going-to-be-a-B+ paper and was getting ready to go to bed (finally!) when I noticed the gas smell. Apparently, when I reheated my leftovers dinner I leaned on the gas stove and the burner has been quietly leaking gas for almost 2 hours. I opened all the doors and windows and turned on the fan. It's like I have it in for myself. I called Todd and told him and now he is concerned. I can't be left alone. Maybe he won't go to Singapore in December after all.
So this is a little bit of a pity party. I still feel great. This pregnancy is still a piece of cake. But today was a rotten day.
No pitying comments please. Only hilarious anecdotes about yourself or someone you know.
16 comments:
Reminds me of another naked picture of you taken on top of a mountain. Remember that? That was a good story too...it reminds me that if I ever see a pregnant woman sitting on a curb and crying to help her up for heaven's sake and tell you something funny.
I love you, you're a weiner, pantyhose.
I am grateful for the nice college students who helped you out. And I am glad you let them help. You are right, you have had an awesome, easy pregnancy and you were due for a rotten day.
Sometimes I wish I was pregnant so I could tell people, "Pregnancy brain!" Alas, I have no excuse.
That was a pity comment, was it? I'm glad you are not dead from that gas leak. Sheesh!
Oh, and the crying! I used to think I was fine, and then I'd have an appointment with my midwife. She'd ask, "So how are you doing?" and suddenly I was in hysterics and didn't know why. I remember sitting there and trying to talk through the sobs... "I ... don't kno...know... why I... I'm... crying so.. so hard! I'm Ok!" Good times!
When I was 8 months pregnant with Eliza, Ian and I had just gotten home from the grocery store. I was attempting to carefully unload the groceries when I noticed 2 1/2 yr old Ian frantically tapping on the car window. He had to go to the bathroom. I hurried to get him from the car and get back to the house but I slipped on a sheet of ice and fell down on top of Ian, ripped a hole in my only good maternity jeans and the Ian pooped his pants there on the sidewalk. It took a while for me to get back up, I wish some nice college students had come along! I cried that day too but when ever I told the story to anyone they thought it was really funny. 4 1/2 years later, it is a little funny now.
I prescribe watching "My boyfriend's girlfriend." (I think that's what it's called?) It's this really, cheesy-stupid Mormon movie, except it isn't supposed to be a Mormon movie, so even though it's filmed in like, Salt Lake, the whole time everyone is saying/doing all these really awkward and contrived things to prove how un-Mormon they are. "I think I just need some COFFEE because I'm so tired!" "Let me just put on a new shirt so you can see my TATTOO!" Sam and I had a fine time mocking it.
My second, better, recommendation is "Noises Off." have you seen that? It's on Netflix and it has Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve in it when they were young. It starts out only moderately funny, but the second and third acts are UNBEARABLE--because you'll be laughing so hard. You'll die. It's just what you need, my poor little weepy friend. And for heavens sake TURN THE STOVE OFF!
Wendy, that was an AWESOME story. Really funny in a horrible way. At least I did not have to clean up someone else's poop yesterday.
lol to pregnant woes and poor falling with ian pooping his pants story,...
The body,.. You are beautiful,.. I know we pregnant ladies get down on ourselves, but it's all for a good cause. You'll forget about the puffiness when its all over and you're cuddling that cute sweetums you get to call yours forever.
hope your ankle is feeling better. I still force myself to wear stupid shoes occasionally too. You can't really wear crocs to the church office building with a skirt and get away with it and I'm just not a flats kinda girl unless they're thongs (flip flops).
Lol,.. I was just thinking about that young women's night we had a while back where we had an etiquette dinner I think and you taught everybody how to walk in heels and how to walk down stairs and sit down using the back of your hand to smooth your dress under you. Isn't it sad that I waited until I was a leader to learn how to walk in heels? I think I got more out of that activity than the girls did.
Miss you Carrie Anne... are you back yet so we can have lunch sometime? .....we're both probably too busy,.. oh well. I think I'll celebrate by taking it easy this week and giving into the fatigue I'm feeling,... You can do the same. :) My treat. Miss you!
When I was pregnant with Mary my mother-in-law babysat for me while I went to my last midwife appointment before delivering. I'm kind of a crappy driver, anyway, but everything's worse for me when I'm pregnant, so when I drove back to her house I did a U-turn to park along her side walk and accidentally knocked over her mailbox. Her son came out, looking shocked, bewildered, and concerned, like, 'did you just have stroke?!' I parked the car and got out and was like, "What? Oh, sorry about that."
You forgot that you are supposed to call me when these things happen. I walk through glass doors, wet my pants when I cough and back the car full speed into my MAID'S car parked right behind me in the driveway--and I'm not even pregnant. Motherhood:It's kind of a scene. Can you stay with us for the rest of your confinement?
My worst day was when we were coming into the house from outside, I didn't make it to the bathroom to throw up and it was projectile so it was all over the walls, while I was throwing up I peed my pants all over our living room tile floor. While this was happening I was bawling my eyes out so Tyler sent me into the shower so I could cry for a half an hour while he cleaned everything up. Miserable. But great that I had a wonderful husbamd who is willing to clean up my urine and puke.
Sorry to hear it. At least the story of my child messing himself has cheered everyone up.
It seems you have applied Aunt Boo's rules for a pity party--keep it short and don't invite a lot of people. You have to have one or two of those kinds of days or what would you have to contribute when everyone is sharing their pregnancy horror stories at baby showers? You will be cleaning up someone else's poop soon enough!
I love the comments about your face. My face is hideous when I am prego...well you know that, you saw me. One time at BYU a professor was commenting to a secretary about my pregnancy and the secretary looked at me in shock and said, "You are pregnant?!" to which my professor replied, "Yes, can't you tell, just look at her face." Thank you very much!!
I can't recall any great pregnancy stories right now but I do remember announcing to my husband in the middle of another sleepless night with our new first born child that the only solution was to put him for adoption...and I was serious. Luckily we didn't act right away. He has turned out to be a great sleeper.
your photo takes the cake. you look so irritated, but i can't take it seriously because i know you are naked in the tub.
i would post a picture of me like that, but i'm so damn sexy, it would be considered porn.
feel better now?
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