I love the idea of having a Banana Republic card, but the reality is oh so inconvenient. I have been a loyal customer since it's days of safari hats and jeeps crashing through contrived display windows, but having grown up with the yuppie clothier I feel that their approach to in-store credit is severely underdeveloped.
I opened an account last year because I started a new job as an executive where the expectation was perpetual business attire. Where else to build a work wardrobe but the Banana? I wasn't even seduced by the additional 10% by opening an account, it was the free alterations and reward points system (any in-store account that does not offer money or gift cards back for frequent shopping is not even worth considering) that attracted my patronage.
However, to my incredulity and dismay, you cannot pay your account at the store. You cannot even pay your bill over the phone without a $10 service charge. You can only pay your bill with a check (or is it spelled cheque...who knows...who uses those anymore?) or online.
Well, their website has been down for ages and I get a bill for my fabulous sapphire-cut "diamond" ring which only cost me $37 and the bill reads $69. So I call customer service and reach "Jerry" in India and ask him to remove my late-fee as a one-time courtesy. (Did you know you could do that folks? It's true, if you are a responsible credit user and you incur a late fee most companies will waive that late fee at least once if you call and just ask them to.) Jerry complied, but I am still left with waiting for the web-site construction to wrap up. I searched around for some paper money devices on which you can write in your desired amount, but to no avail.
I hate you Banana Republic.
Cards that are worth having:
Costco's American Express (1% cash back, 2% on travel and 3% on meals)
Macy's in-store card and visa (use your macy's visa anywhere and receive 1-3% back in store gift cards plus free alterations and gift wrap services depending on your spending per year...i love it)
Southwest visa (Todd and I got free tickets to go everywhere we needed to go for about two years...we even earned enough for a buddy pass one year)
Not that I endorse credit. We use credit when it is to our definite advantage. We bought a Dyson vacuum cleaner through our credit card perks. But we rarely have a balance. That'll kill you. Be wise people.
Oh, yeah, one other bit of unsolicited advice...if you happen to decide to open a credit line at a department store or with a 0% interest card, you need to know that you shouldn't open an account to get the extra 15% off and then expect to close it right away. If you close a new credit line within 6 months, it actually counts against your credit rating; it can take as many as 30 points off your score. Wait before you close an account. On the flip side, if you have a department store line of credit (one or two not ten), and you pay on time or use it and don't carry a balance your credit report looks good. Just be smart.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Why I Love the Gastineaux Girls
In my life, I hope I have the oppotunity to say to someone: "I'm not trying to guilt you, but remember the time I was in St. Tropez with ALL of my friends, and you were failing summer school, and I had to come take you home?" That would be awesome...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Working Stiff
I have been an errant blogger. I apologize. I have been busy with my woman of leisure lifestyle, but that’s all coming to an end.
I got a job.
Because Todd has gone back to school, and I’m NOT pregnant, there is no good reason for me to “sit around the house eating bon-bons.” By they way, those are my quotation marks, not anyone else’s…
As we signed off on the first of two new $16,000 student loans, I decided to “take one for the team” and earn some moolah.
I needed a job that would keep me home (meaning in-state…better yet, in-town), a job that would be interesting, a job I didn’t have to take home with me, and a job that would make us some killer cash.
Done, done, & done…
I have been hired as the manager of the women’s Ready-wear department at Meier & Frank at the University Mall in Orem. Super exciting. I bought my “back-to-work” wardrobe, expensive shoes, and I will report to work at 8am sharp tomorrow morning. I am nervous because I have become accustomed to my ways (sleeping in, my exercising routine, my lunches with ladies, my whatever…).
Wish me luck. I am hoping that a new job provides me with lots of juicy blodder.
And now that our printer is working again, I will be able to upload some fun Halloween pics…so stay tuned folks…
I got a job.
Because Todd has gone back to school, and I’m NOT pregnant, there is no good reason for me to “sit around the house eating bon-bons.” By they way, those are my quotation marks, not anyone else’s…
As we signed off on the first of two new $16,000 student loans, I decided to “take one for the team” and earn some moolah.
I needed a job that would keep me home (meaning in-state…better yet, in-town), a job that would be interesting, a job I didn’t have to take home with me, and a job that would make us some killer cash.
Done, done, & done…
I have been hired as the manager of the women’s Ready-wear department at Meier & Frank at the University Mall in Orem. Super exciting. I bought my “back-to-work” wardrobe, expensive shoes, and I will report to work at 8am sharp tomorrow morning. I am nervous because I have become accustomed to my ways (sleeping in, my exercising routine, my lunches with ladies, my whatever…).
Wish me luck. I am hoping that a new job provides me with lots of juicy blodder.
And now that our printer is working again, I will be able to upload some fun Halloween pics…so stay tuned folks…
Monday, October 10, 2005
Gag Me With a Spoon
No seriously. It’s not my shtick to share these things, but some things are SO special, they must be shared with my blog “public.”
These are "hair drawings" made by someone I assume to be a college student living in the dorms sharing a bathroom with countless others. Here are the thoughts running through my head:
Who does these things?
Who willingly touches the hair left behind in a communal shower (such is the case here, my comrades)?
Who wastes their time this way?
Did they do this at the end of their shower or did they return later when dried and dressed to complete the project?
Did they have a vision?
Did they choose the hair they wanted carefully or just work with what was on hand…or er, wall?
I’m just so completely grossed out.
Or am I just missing out on all the beauty around me?
These are "hair drawings" made by someone I assume to be a college student living in the dorms sharing a bathroom with countless others. Here are the thoughts running through my head:
Who does these things?
Who willingly touches the hair left behind in a communal shower (such is the case here, my comrades)?
Who wastes their time this way?
Did they do this at the end of their shower or did they return later when dried and dressed to complete the project?
Did they have a vision?
Did they choose the hair they wanted carefully or just work with what was on hand…or er, wall?
I’m just so completely grossed out.
Or am I just missing out on all the beauty around me?
Monday, October 03, 2005
Speaking of Jeans
You know how I am always on the lookout for perfect jeans? Ladies of my particular proportions are always being extorted in our efforts to find denim with appropriate levels of sexiness without wanton-ness, fit without discomfort, control without roll, and a price that will allow me to pay Provo City this month.
Well.
As I was strolling through Target the other day, as I am want to do, I was going to buy a new pair of the Mossimo low-rise bootcuts that make EVERYONE look good regardless of age, salary, or size…
…when I came across a NEW style in the “junior’s” section. They are Levi Strauss low-rise bootcut and they come in a couple of different washes…indigo and antique being the two best, in my humble opinion.
So I thought I would share my (correct-as-usual) opinion on how to buy jeans:
Fit:
They should be tight when you first try them on, but if you can’t button them comfortably, then they’re too small. Trust me on this. If you put on jeans and immediately think, “these are too small, I would never wear jeans this tight,” they are probably right. If you try on a size lager and think “that’s better” you are wearing jeans that are too big. Jeans straight from the manufacturer have been processed to death, wear them around the house for an hour, and they will loosen up. If you are in between sizes…sucks to be you, use your best judgment.
Rise:
No one should be buying high-rise jeans. NO ONE. I don’t care who you are, how fat you think you are, or how old you think you are. Jeans that come up to your belly button make your BUTT AND HIPS LOOK HUGE…even if you’re skinny.
For the most flattering fit, you should be wearing your jeans in a medium or low-rise. Low-rise does not necessarily mean that your crack is going to show; they usually call that super-low-rise or ultra-low-rise.
Be prudent. If you buy your jeans in the teenager department, low rise means one thing. If you buy your jeans in the respectable adult department, it means another. If you have a J-Lo-esque rear, wear a belt with your low-rise jeans, this keeps them from sliding down when you sit down.
Medium-rise jeans should come below your belly button. If you are wearing high-rise jeans thinking that it will control the roll situation, you are sorely mistaken. Medium-rise jeans prevent the roll. High-rise jeans create the “pooch”. No one wants to create the pooch.
Wash:
Most women look best in a modest, darker wash. Light washes are akin to white pants in that they can make you look larger than you are. The goal in mind with jeans is LONG and LEAN. Darker washes have the tendency to produce this effect. Stay away from obvious whiskering at the crotchal regions or obvious and unrealistic “sanding” at the thighs and buttal regions.
This is stupid. I often try and imagine what kind of activity could possibly have worn the jeans THAT way? Sliding down concrete embankments? The darker the wash, the more “formal” the look. Jeans are more acceptable in social occasions of, say, going out, if the jeans look nice and have a dark wash with not a lot of “distressing” and wear.
Colored jeans are not worth even talking about at this juncture. You shouldn’t be wearing them. Full stop. Black jeans are a little too 90’s and white jeans only looked good on Jackie O and supermodels vacationing in St. Tropez.
Cut:
Your best bet is straight leg or boot-cut. Flared jeans are somewhat trendy and youthful, but not flattering on most adults. The best line for ANY pant is straight from hip to foot. If your jeans come in too much at the knee then it accentuates the size of your thighs. If your thighs are the widest part of your leg (and we hope that they are or else you are some kind of freak with huge calves…) your jeans should fit you there and then should continue to the floor unfettered and unobstructed. A little flare is OK, but moderate to extreme flare is not.
Length:
Here you may balk. If you are a person who likes to wear boots or heels with jeans, you may need to consider buying jeans to fit with heels and jeans to wear with flats. Not kidding. One jean cannot rule them all, so to speak. If you are wearing a shoe/boot with a heel, the hem of the jeans should cover the top of the foot and be wide enough to clear the shoe and still have an inch before it touches the floor. If you are wearing heels and your hem touches the floor, your jeans are too long. If your jeans hit at the top of your heel, they are too short.
If you are wearing flats or street shoes (notice I did not say running shoes or hiking shoes or any specific sport related shoe…) the same principle applies. Your jean may have a “break” at the top of your foot above the hem (which means that the line of the leg may bend, not bunch, at the top of your foot) and the hem should cover most of your heel without touching the ground. “Heel length” jeans would be too bunchy at the bottom to wear with flats. Bunchy=not good. Long and lean=fantastic.
P.S. I was at Banana Republic today buying a gorgeous $168 pink silk dress for $12 when the woman in front of me was having the sales girl fill out an alterations ticket! For jeans! Genius!
My biggest pet peeve of fashion these days is this: just because they sell it in the stores doesn’t mean it’s “in style” or that it is going to look as good on you as it does on Giselle or SJP. You may be seeing some “skinny” styles coming back right now.
This does not mean this is where jeans are headed. This is a fad, a throwback to the 80’s, and you should not participate unless you are at or below a size 4. Seriously.
Well.
As I was strolling through Target the other day, as I am want to do, I was going to buy a new pair of the Mossimo low-rise bootcuts that make EVERYONE look good regardless of age, salary, or size…
…when I came across a NEW style in the “junior’s” section. They are Levi Strauss low-rise bootcut and they come in a couple of different washes…indigo and antique being the two best, in my humble opinion.
So I thought I would share my (correct-as-usual) opinion on how to buy jeans:
Fit:
They should be tight when you first try them on, but if you can’t button them comfortably, then they’re too small. Trust me on this. If you put on jeans and immediately think, “these are too small, I would never wear jeans this tight,” they are probably right. If you try on a size lager and think “that’s better” you are wearing jeans that are too big. Jeans straight from the manufacturer have been processed to death, wear them around the house for an hour, and they will loosen up. If you are in between sizes…sucks to be you, use your best judgment.
Rise:
No one should be buying high-rise jeans. NO ONE. I don’t care who you are, how fat you think you are, or how old you think you are. Jeans that come up to your belly button make your BUTT AND HIPS LOOK HUGE…even if you’re skinny.
For the most flattering fit, you should be wearing your jeans in a medium or low-rise. Low-rise does not necessarily mean that your crack is going to show; they usually call that super-low-rise or ultra-low-rise.
Be prudent. If you buy your jeans in the teenager department, low rise means one thing. If you buy your jeans in the respectable adult department, it means another. If you have a J-Lo-esque rear, wear a belt with your low-rise jeans, this keeps them from sliding down when you sit down.
Medium-rise jeans should come below your belly button. If you are wearing high-rise jeans thinking that it will control the roll situation, you are sorely mistaken. Medium-rise jeans prevent the roll. High-rise jeans create the “pooch”. No one wants to create the pooch.
Wash:
Most women look best in a modest, darker wash. Light washes are akin to white pants in that they can make you look larger than you are. The goal in mind with jeans is LONG and LEAN. Darker washes have the tendency to produce this effect. Stay away from obvious whiskering at the crotchal regions or obvious and unrealistic “sanding” at the thighs and buttal regions.
This is stupid. I often try and imagine what kind of activity could possibly have worn the jeans THAT way? Sliding down concrete embankments? The darker the wash, the more “formal” the look. Jeans are more acceptable in social occasions of, say, going out, if the jeans look nice and have a dark wash with not a lot of “distressing” and wear.
Colored jeans are not worth even talking about at this juncture. You shouldn’t be wearing them. Full stop. Black jeans are a little too 90’s and white jeans only looked good on Jackie O and supermodels vacationing in St. Tropez.
Cut:
Your best bet is straight leg or boot-cut. Flared jeans are somewhat trendy and youthful, but not flattering on most adults. The best line for ANY pant is straight from hip to foot. If your jeans come in too much at the knee then it accentuates the size of your thighs. If your thighs are the widest part of your leg (and we hope that they are or else you are some kind of freak with huge calves…) your jeans should fit you there and then should continue to the floor unfettered and unobstructed. A little flare is OK, but moderate to extreme flare is not.
Length:
Here you may balk. If you are a person who likes to wear boots or heels with jeans, you may need to consider buying jeans to fit with heels and jeans to wear with flats. Not kidding. One jean cannot rule them all, so to speak. If you are wearing a shoe/boot with a heel, the hem of the jeans should cover the top of the foot and be wide enough to clear the shoe and still have an inch before it touches the floor. If you are wearing heels and your hem touches the floor, your jeans are too long. If your jeans hit at the top of your heel, they are too short.
If you are wearing flats or street shoes (notice I did not say running shoes or hiking shoes or any specific sport related shoe…) the same principle applies. Your jean may have a “break” at the top of your foot above the hem (which means that the line of the leg may bend, not bunch, at the top of your foot) and the hem should cover most of your heel without touching the ground. “Heel length” jeans would be too bunchy at the bottom to wear with flats. Bunchy=not good. Long and lean=fantastic.
P.S. I was at Banana Republic today buying a gorgeous $168 pink silk dress for $12 when the woman in front of me was having the sales girl fill out an alterations ticket! For jeans! Genius!
My biggest pet peeve of fashion these days is this: just because they sell it in the stores doesn’t mean it’s “in style” or that it is going to look as good on you as it does on Giselle or SJP. You may be seeing some “skinny” styles coming back right now.
This does not mean this is where jeans are headed. This is a fad, a throwback to the 80’s, and you should not participate unless you are at or below a size 4. Seriously.
Friday, September 16, 2005
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
Not to imitate Kacy’s theme of self-loathing…it must be something in the air….
I thought I would share a triumph followed by a spectacular fall from coolness.
Yesterday, I had on my cool new jeans, the ones worth discussing in a subsequent blog. After a decent day of feeling decent in my jeans, I decided to stop by Kacy and Christian’s house. They were going out to dinner, and graciously asked if I would like to go along. Since dinner out is always better than lonely dark house, I accepted and we had a wonderful time.
Once back at their house, Christian valiantly put the kids to bed while Kacy and I chatted. We were tired and full of Korean food so we slumped down on their comfy overstuffed furniture.
During a particularly interesting and witty antidote I was telling, Kacy began to point and laugh at my crotchal region. (When you’re full with yummy Korean spicy pork lettuce wraps you are exempt from sitting like a lady.) I looked down and saw a single piece of rice clinging to my sexy new jeans.
“Oh,” said I. “I must have dropped some rice.”
“No!” Kacy laughed with increasing intensity. “There’s more!”
I looked a little further, and lo and behold, there was ANOTHER clump of dried rice! Yikes. It was getting embarrassing.
“Oh, I must have dropped more than I thought!” said I good-naturedly.
“No!” cried Kacy once more. “It’s all over!”
Without getting too graphic…I must have dropped a whole SPOONFUL of rice in my lap and proceeded to grind it into my crotch with my every movement. My new jeans! My pride! As I walked like a bow-legged cowboy to her trash can to throw away dried rice I discovered not only more rice…but a new level of humiliation. Luckily, Kacy and I are to the point in our relationship where I can pick rice off my crotchal region in front of her and she can laugh it up with no discomfort on my part, nor malice on hers. But I must say that I felt a strange new sensation much like the need to go home and clean out my fat rolls: negligent and slovenly…even *gasp* sloppy.
So much for the sexy jeans. The effect was ruined. I wanted to run home in shame. But, see, this is where everyone needs a Kacy in their life. Someone to ground you. Some one to help you “keep it real”. Someone to tell you when you have a LOT of rice smashed in to your crotch and then laugh it up uncontrollably. Thanks, dear friend. Thanks a lot.
I thought I would share a triumph followed by a spectacular fall from coolness.
Yesterday, I had on my cool new jeans, the ones worth discussing in a subsequent blog. After a decent day of feeling decent in my jeans, I decided to stop by Kacy and Christian’s house. They were going out to dinner, and graciously asked if I would like to go along. Since dinner out is always better than lonely dark house, I accepted and we had a wonderful time.
Once back at their house, Christian valiantly put the kids to bed while Kacy and I chatted. We were tired and full of Korean food so we slumped down on their comfy overstuffed furniture.
During a particularly interesting and witty antidote I was telling, Kacy began to point and laugh at my crotchal region. (When you’re full with yummy Korean spicy pork lettuce wraps you are exempt from sitting like a lady.) I looked down and saw a single piece of rice clinging to my sexy new jeans.
“Oh,” said I. “I must have dropped some rice.”
“No!” Kacy laughed with increasing intensity. “There’s more!”
I looked a little further, and lo and behold, there was ANOTHER clump of dried rice! Yikes. It was getting embarrassing.
“Oh, I must have dropped more than I thought!” said I good-naturedly.
“No!” cried Kacy once more. “It’s all over!”
Without getting too graphic…I must have dropped a whole SPOONFUL of rice in my lap and proceeded to grind it into my crotch with my every movement. My new jeans! My pride! As I walked like a bow-legged cowboy to her trash can to throw away dried rice I discovered not only more rice…but a new level of humiliation. Luckily, Kacy and I are to the point in our relationship where I can pick rice off my crotchal region in front of her and she can laugh it up with no discomfort on my part, nor malice on hers. But I must say that I felt a strange new sensation much like the need to go home and clean out my fat rolls: negligent and slovenly…even *gasp* sloppy.
So much for the sexy jeans. The effect was ruined. I wanted to run home in shame. But, see, this is where everyone needs a Kacy in their life. Someone to ground you. Some one to help you “keep it real”. Someone to tell you when you have a LOT of rice smashed in to your crotch and then laugh it up uncontrollably. Thanks, dear friend. Thanks a lot.
Friday, September 02, 2005
A Chosen Vessel
The other night as I was driving to pick Todd up from school, God blessed me with the rarest and most fleeting of gifts. For about 10 minutes, the combination of a long day and allergies allowed me to sing JUST like Billie Holiday. I was almost as good as David Sedaris. So I milked it, and all the way to campus I sang “All of Me” at the top of my lungs. Well, that was the only song I could remember, and only one verse of it at that, but perhaps someone along 800 North needed to hear Billie sing that song that night, and I was there to make it happen. Thank you, Lord, for making me a vessel for good…or for good jazz anyway.
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